Snark in the Park

Do you ever notice that on a beautiful Indian Summer afternoon, all the beautiful people come out and play? I don't. I'm fairly certain that the reason why Dolores Park is so popular on the weekends is that it's a wonderful place to go when you need a boost in self-esteem.

Feeling like an underachiever? Look at those kids slacklining - someone tell them there's no real world application for that BS. Feeling frumpy? Everyone is in hoodies and one-size-too-tight leggings. Feeling retarded? There's always someone who's high on a mystery and acting acting retarded-er. It's the perfect place to people watch, and more importantly, judge to your heart's content.

I'll bring some wine and cheese and teach you how to pair them, as we judge the hipsters around us - because everyone knows that Confucius said, "Judging is best done when you're stuffing your face and getting drunk." So come out to the park, we'll imbibe, we'll indulge, and we'll JUDGE the crap out of everyone sitting nearby.