Los Angeles

Infamous! For it's crawling sprawl, murderous gangs and sunbathing hordes of wanna bes. Home to ra-cha-cha Hollywood and most earthquakes, the Lakers and the mighty LA river which rarely runs more than an inch deep (the one the Governator drove his motorcycle through while shotgunning aliens from the future.) Los Angeles is a star and when you're a star you are controversial.

The easiest of targets, bleach blond LA is a silicone valley born again vegan, her face redrawn squinting under a dunce cap. Fortunately with such low expectations, it is easy to surprise. Like totally surprise, LA has more museums than their frozen haters in New York. Duh, it's the only place outside Florida you can grow citrus and the produce is bomb all year (imported one hour away from the central valley which feeds 1/5 of the US). For sure, you can surf or ski in the same day cuz snow capped 10,000 footers break into the tuna filled pacific below orange flaming sunsets. Or you can just go to Disneyland, whatever.

"Whatever" is the motto of the city of Los Angeles, and it's far deeper than it sounds. While the old cities wrestle with their past, Los Angeles looks ahead with the indifference of a surfer who's a half hour late. Stay long enough and maybe you can too. Bienvenidos amigos.