Adventure in San Francisco

Here in the San Francisco Bay Area we pride ourselves in being exceptionally outdoorsy and adventurous. Indeed, we boast the highest per capita spandex and energy gel suppository usage in the continental United States. Please try not to let our feverishly intimate relationship with our natural environment annoy you too much. It's not our fault that we live in such a visually arousing location. The Bay Area is a sexy, alluring woman, and we are putty in her hands.

I mean, just look around! See that gently sloping mountain out beyond the Golden Gate? Doesn’t it bring to mind a curvaceous lady in repose? I defy you to climb the peaks of her bountiful bosom and gaze out at the mighty Pacific, and tell me you do not feel a blossoming infatuation! Allow yourself to be enveloped in the graceful, curving pathways and mist-dampened slopes of Golden Gate Park. Lose yourself wholly among massive redwood trees thrusting skyward through soft blankets of fog. Paddle a kayak into the dark, mysterious waters of San Francisco Bay and let the lapping waves tease your slender vessel, and I assure you, you will be ready to let this city handcuff you to a bedpost.

We San Franciscans have submitted ourselves willingly to the manifold sensual delights of this seductive place, and we invite you to do the same. The more the merrier. (Oh and don’t forget to bring protection—you know, like a windbreaker or a hat or something.)